Shagging
by koorimechick
Summary: Another simple dialogue fic. You can consider it a sequel to Snogging if you'd like, but they are not really related. Albus and Scorpius try to find a good place for shagging at the Potter household. Rated for sexual innuendos.


**I was just so bored. So I read Snogging. And randomly decided to write. This is what came out. **

** I miss my other Harry Potter story. The one that was deleted. I'll need to rewrite it.**

* * *

"I swear... Don't you two have anything better to do than ruin other blokes' beds?"

"Hello, James..."

"Oh, come on, Brother! It's just shagging."

"On my bed! Get the hell off!"

"Can I not show my boyfriend how much I love him in peace?"

"No, you cannot! Not on my bed!"

"..."

"..."

"Get off my bed!"

"FINE! Oh, you're no fun."

xoXOxo

"Oh My God!!"

"What now?"

"'What now,' he says! 'What now?' What is wrong with you two?"

"What?"

"Scorpius...Shut up and kiss me."

"NO! Get a room, you bums!"

"Lily. Please, you're disturbing the peace."

"I'm not disturbing the peace! You are! You're practically shagging in the sitting room! Do you know how much I lie on that sofa!"

"Not as much we do."

"Haha."

"Oh God! You nasties!"

"Shut up, Lily. You'll get Mum and Dad in here!"

"As if they couldn't hear your moaning anyway!"

"Maybe we should find somewhere else, Al..."

"Like where?"

"Try your bedroom!"

"Shut up, Lily! That place is too common. We're always there."

"Well, don't even try my room!"

"We weren't planning on it. It's too girly. Hurts my eyes."

"Oh, shut up, Malfoy!"

"So where to now, babe?"

"Ew..."

"Didn't your Dad assemble you a tree house when you were younger?"

"Oh yeah..."

"God... Remind me to never visit there again."

xoXOxo

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Finally... Some peace and quiet."

"God, Score... I can never get over you."

"I know. Big, isn't it?"

"Ha! I didn't mean that, you idiot!"

"You implied it. Don't deny it."

"Well, it is quite large... Was that a gasp, Score? Don't tell me you're enjoying yourself at the Potter household?"

"Shut u--"

"AAGH!! My eyes!! I'm blind! I'm bli- AAGH!"

"Hugo! What happened? Did you fall out of that tree?"

"Rosie! I'm blind! They were-- They were!!"

"Oh, hello, boys."

"Hello, Rosie."

"Hey, Rose."

"I think you've killed my baby brother."

"We're used to it. James's soul was shattered long ago."

"Alright."

Click!

"Hey! We are not posing for pictures here!"

"Sure you are. Just go back to your business and let me get on with my porn show."

"Rosie!"

"Gasp. Albus!"

"Hey...Don't make fun of Al."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Scorpius. I won't. Just because you told me not to. I will _never_ again make fun of him."

"..."

"..."

Click!

"What did we say about pictures?"

"Well, it's hard not to. You know?"

"No... I don't know."

"Why are these people so nosy? What we do is no one's business!"

"Albus. You're my cousin, and I love you. But you are real stupid sometimes. If you wouldn't have sex-"

"I prefer the term 'Make love.'"

"In the most obvious places, people wouldn't walk in on you."

"Well, what do you suggest?"

"That next time you continue on even when my brother does walk in. Maybe you'll strike him dumb as well blind. Merlin knows he needs to shut his mouth."

"You never really help, Rose. Unless it's with homework."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Score... You know, I was thinking. I might not let you guys copy my homework anymore..."

"What?"

"Why?"

"Oh. Just to see how long it takes the professors to decide to hold you back a year."

"Go away, Rosie."

Click!

"Stop snapping pictures!"

"Well, if I want to be a successful journalist, I need good stories. Pictures back them up!"

"Bullshit! You're just obsessed with porn!"

"Well, Scorpius. You be raised around self-obsessed guys. See how you turn out."

"So, you're admitting your sexual addictions?"

"Shut up, Al. I never said that. And for further recommendation, don't do it in the school library again. So many girls were watching."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Is she really gone?"

"Yeah."

"She's not coming back?"

"Nope."

"You sure she's not spying somewhere in another branch."

"Score?"

"Hm?"

"Shut up and suck."

"Yes, sir!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Oh, shit. Looks like they've stolen our spot, Ted."

"Victoire!"

"Oh, don't act so suprised, Albus. This is a very good place to sneak off to."

"This and the cellar anyway."

"Thanks, Ted. Victoire. You've been a help."

"Sure, Malfoy. Anytime."

"Oh! Don't try the school kitchens. The house elves tend to rave about it. They won't shut up."

"Thanks, Vicky."

"Mhm... OH! Do you know about the Room of Requirements? Harry told me about it."

"Dad did? Are you sure, Ted?"

"Oh yeah. I can get anything from Harry."

"Ha. That didn't sound right."

"Merlin! Shut up, Scorp! That's my Dad!"

"So?"

"So shut up!"

"Oh alright."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Why haven't you two left yet?"

"We told you about the cellar. Go use it. This is our spot."

"Why can't you go use it?"

"Oh, crimeney, Ted! We can share!"

"Oh fine! Scootch over, ya poofs!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Got any other suggestions?"

"Oh yeah. Plenty! OH TEDDIE!!"

"Maybe we will try out the cellar."

"Yeah... That doesn't sound like a bad idea."

"Bye then!! OOH! Be a bad boy, Teddy!"

"I think I'm going to be sick..."

"Me too!"

* * *

**Haha. It just kept going. It wouldn't end. Please review. I hope you enjoyed!**

**I took pictures of my gay friends once while they were getting it on. I love those boys.**


End file.
